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Lessons from COVID #6 - COVID Confusion - Trust Yourself

I woke up this morning with the song “Land of Confusion” by Genesis playing in my head. Except there was one difference, instead of “this is the land of confusion” I heard “this is COVID confusion.” It was relentless. 3am and I’m singing along to Phil Collins, over and over again. Finally, I got up and read the lyrics, and watched the music video on YouTube, allowing myself to zoom back to 1986.

In the midst of COVID quarantine, I stopped really paying attention to the news a few weeks ago because frankly, the news media is too confusing. We should wear masks, but the only masks that work are N95 masks, but normal people wearing masks don’t wear them properly which makes us really more at risk, and we shouldn’t be taking masks from the medical professionals that need them, but homemade cloth masks work just fine, but masks don’t really protect you they protect the people you are around from you, if you don’t wear a mask you’re selfish…and so on. We need to quarantine, stay-at-home, shelter-in-place, don’t go outside, but outside exercise is okay, you need a 6’ distance, but really you need 10’ distance, but the particles fall to the ground at about 3’ distance, but shopping is okay, and places like Target and Walmart and the grocery store are fine, but small businesses with less exposure are closed, seeing your chiropractor is okay, but getting your haircut isn’t safe…and so on. You should work at home if you can, but if you have to go to work, take your temperature to prove you’re not sick and are okay to be exposed to other people, but you could be “sick” without showing symptoms because most cases are asymptomatic…and so on. Two weeks quarantine is enough because the incubation period is 14 days, but we need to stay-at-home longer and the shelter-in-place orders keep getting extended, but the economy can’t handle the closed businesses, so it’s not time to open the country back up, but with restrictions, and the President has absolute power to decide, except the states will make the final decisions…and so on. Don’t even get me started about the science and the research and how contradictory all that is too.

Let’s face it, there is NOTHING about COVID that isn’t confusing. Layer it on top of the world of “fake news” and social media psychological manipulation, and there’s absolutely nothing you can read or listen to or hear or see that you can trust.


Perhaps, all this COVID Confusion is a lesson in trusting your self and listening to your own intuition.

Let me say that again.

COVID Confusion is an opportunity for us to really pay attention to our own intuition.

I’m blessed as a soul who has been developing my intuition for decades. It started when I was an awkward adolescent and my dad taught intuitive development classes at our new age church. I then found yoga and meditation and all the practices that people say you should do to learn how to listen to that still small voice, the one that speaks loudly when you go DEEP into meditation. Except for me, it wasn’t yoga or meditation or any of the classes that taught me. I was always the person in the meditation hall spending the whole twenty minutes trying to not scratch my nose. After nearly twenty years of almost daily yoga practice, you would think I’d be able to ask myself any question and find the answer on my mat almost instantly. But it doesn’t work like that. My yoga mat isn’t an on/off light switch to activate instant answers. They always decide to appear in their own time. Besides during yoga and meditation, everything is quiet. Of course it is easier to listen to the still small voice of intuition when everything is quiet. Except I find that is also when my quiet little voice doesn’t have much to say.

But COVID confusion, that’s a true training ground for intuition listening.

Here’s my skinny lesson on how to hear that “still small voice”…First of all, it isn’t still, and it certainly isn’t small. At least not to me. It is rather loud, and annoying. It’s the kind of voice I don’t like to hear, so I shove it away most of the time because it hurts inside my head, like an annoying child screaming MOM MOM MOM MOOOOMMMMMM! Except it doesn’t happen in my head, it happens in my BODY, my whole body.

Last week, intuition happened to the Hobbit when he kept saying he was going shopping, but kept putting it off. As much as he wanted to get eggs and other “essentials” he found a zillion other things to do instead, and kept coming up with more distractions. Finally, I said to him, your everything is resisting this shopping trip. Don’t go. Stay-at-home. He sighed relief, and that was his body talking. Every bit of tension that had spun into every task he had done instead of shopping melted away and he could finally relax.

These last few days, intuition has been talking to me in the form of this tender bruise pain in my kidneys. I’m an empath, and I hold a lot of energy when I don’t even know it. On Thursday, the full moon, my dog had 15 teeth extracted, and a dear friend’s father died. My back feels like I have these two balls pushing into my kidneys, and they are BRUISED. This is my intuition, my body, telling me to slow down, back off, do less, REST!

Now, in the time of COVID Confusion, and all the chaos of the outside world, the only real truth we can trust are the physical sensations we have in our bodies that makes us behave in certain ways. When the noise of the outside world has turned into this constant refrigerator hum of nonsense, I am suggesting that maybe, just maybe the voice of Truth inside you could be more clear.

The rest of the world is crazy-town, so the only thing you can do is TRUST YOURSELF.


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