Are you in an abusive relationship with Guilt?
You know Her, Guilt, oh so well.
She talks incessantly, never stopping for a breath long enough for you to have a say.
In between her rants and gossips, she asks you (but really expects you) to carry her burdens.
A simple favor turns into a complicated responsibility.
one package becomes two
two becomes six…
and before you know it,
you are jumping to her every need and whim.
Every decision you make is in answer to
what Guilt might have to say about it.
You want to buy something FOR YOURSELF…Guilt tells you not to.
You want to do something just for fun…Guilt reminds you of your responsibilities.
You want to enjoy something indulgent, Guilt points out all the people who can’t indulge.
You do what she asks/expects, in hopes of shutting her up.
But your giving only encourages her, and Guilt just dumps more, and more
Guilt subtlety and oozily
becomes manipulating and controlling.
Her voice inside your head makes you question yourself.
She tells you that she knows what’s best for you
better than you do.
Let me offer you a simple example.
My Great Aunt T gave me a luxurious fox fur jacket. It had been a gift from her boss at Bergdorf’s in 1973. It was gorgeous…elegant…extravagant.
My Aunt T meant only good things when she gifted it to me.
but Guilt had other ideas.
The first time I wore the jacket
Guilt and Aunt T had an argument about it.
Guilt (pushing her words out of my mouth): This is too much.
Aunt T: I want YOU to have it.
Guilt: I can’t. I don’t deserve this.
Aunt T: You look beautiful in it. Enjoy it.
Me (barely whispering): thank you
I said thank you, but I didn’t really mean it. I felt the weight of Guilt on my back, her arms tight around my neck, making it very clear that I did not deserve this gift, and would not, under any circumstances, fully enjoy it as Aunt T wanted me to.
My Aunt T was a special kind of lady.
She evicted Guilt from the residence in her head.
Aunt T LIVED to 102, and enjoyed every part of being a human on this planet.
I asked her once what her secret to life was. She told me about growing up Catholic, and being a good girl who married a not-so-good Catholic man. She said that when she divorced him and got shunned from the church, she decided to live her life her way. She said, “I drank like a fish, and I smoked like a chimney. Until I didn’t.”
Years after her divorce, Aunt T lived-in-sin (for over 50 years) with my Great Uncle Clyde, not caring one bit what other people thought of their “sin”…she shut that Guilt b*tch up for good.
I wasn’t so lucky…
I loved that fox-fur jacket
It symbolized all the things about life Aunt T taught me.
But I rarely let myself wear it.
Guilt wouldn’t let me.
Guilt’s incessant chatter nagged and pecked at me so much that the jacket became unbearably uncomfortable.
“your vegan friends will disapprove…”
“who do you think you are…some wealthy white woman? don’t be a snob.”
“you don’t even deserve something this beautiful.”
“you aren’t pretty enough to do this justice. it belongs on a super model. not you.”
“you wear that to the wrong place and you’ll find yourself covered in red PETA paint.”
“you don’t deserve it.”
“you don’t deserve it.”
“you don’t deserve this. at. all.”
I only let myself wear it a handful of times.
I wanted to wear it more. In honor of Aunt T.
But I didn’t.
The last time I wore the jacket was at Aunt T’s funeral.
It mysteriously disappeared about a year later, when I escaped a narcissistic boyfriend, who “hid” a lot of sentimental and precious items of mine as I was leaving him.
In hindsight, I didn’t deserve that fox fur jacket.
for the simple reason that I listened to Guilt instead of Aunt T,
and I didn’t let myself appreciate it.
I let GUILT boss my JOY
I let GUILT control my LOVE
I let GUILT limit my GRATITUDE
Not wearing that jacket more often is one of the very few regrets I have in my life.
I wish I had drank all the fish and smoked all the chimneys of that fox fur jacket.
And now, the absence of that jacket in my life is a constant reminder to keep Guilt in check. I’m not sure I have successfully evicted her from my head like Aunt T did, but when I lost that jacket, I found the mute button on her mouth.
Do you let GUILT govern your decisions more than you should?
Are you an empath, like me, whose Guilt Gun is a little too Trigger Happy?
Do you let GUILT put your perceptions of other people’s perspectives before your true joys and happinesses of life?
Do you want to learn how to push the mute button on Guilt’s mouth so that you can really enjoy the blessings of your life?
I’m offering TWO programs to address just this issue.
A 6-week Master Your Money Mindset Group Program designed to teach you simple life hacks to stop your GUILT around money so that you can focus on what really matters in your life.
A 5-Month Sacred Mentorship that helps you balance your chakras to curb your GUILT around your responsibilities to other people and learn how to put yourself first so that you have the energy and healthy vibration to serve and support others better.