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Dear Heart Sister - Be the HOLDER

Dear Heart Sister:

All your endeavors are to help people who are in pain, dysfunction, chaos.

You were put on this planet to serve.

To help.

To soothe.

People come to you because you make things better.

And you are damn good at what you do.

Yet, you often find that these people, the ones who come to you for help, and are oh so grateful (most of the time), well, they sometimes lash out at you.

They get mad.

They call you names.

They insult your ways and beliefs.

They cut you to the core.

And that hurts. It hurts you to your core.

Oh my dear heart sister, you are assuming that these souls are functioning at a certain mature adult level (because they are grown ups after all). And yet, the treat you with these childish behaviors. When you show the tiniest sign of a boundary or self-protection, or (god-forbid) you allow yourself to be *gulp* HUMAN for a moment, they have these very grown-up versions of angry toddler temper tantrums.

At you.

You need to remember, these souls came to you in pain, in chaos, in trauma, and in tragedy. They are hurt, and you know that hurt people HURT people. This is what you signed up for.


You know you need to be stronger, have thicker skin, and let their comments and attacks bounce right off of you, because their responses really aren’t about you.

“I’m rubber and you’re glue. What you say bounces off of me and sticks to you”

And, sometimes it is really hard to ALWAYS be the strong one. To take the hits and stitch yourself back up and keep going.

So I suggest to you, perhaps it isn’t your job to help or fix them. Perhaps this last thing you did for them wasn’t something they explicitly asked you to do. Perhaps you don’t need to ALWAYS be the helper and the fixer.

Perhaps your job is to be the HOLDER.

Hold them.

Validate their pain.

Tell them you hear them,

Show them that you see them,

And let them know that you recognize your pain.


you believe in them to get through it, on their own, their way.


If you need to be held and reminded that you have the strength and power and resiliency to process through your pain OR you need tricks and tools and techniques to shift yourself out of your stuck place now to that not-stuck place you want to be, sacred mentorship in the form of Chakra Alignment might be a good fit. Book a free consult with me to see if this is right for you.


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