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The Power of Word - Everyday Spells, Charms & Curses (how they work for and against us)

Words have power.

They can inspire change.

Or break spirits.

While talented orators can manipulate words and sounds and phrases into driving agents of lasting change for large communities, the most powerful words are not those uttered by our greatest leaders. The most powerful words are the ones that bounce around inside our own heads. These thought balls that ricochet around inside our skulls are the results of both things others have said to us and our own self-talk.

Be careful what you think.

It becomes who you are and what you do.


In witchcraft movies, a spell is usually some kind of poetic phrase or chant that is uttered to create some sort of action. For example, the childhood slumber party game Light as a Feather Stiff as a Board is a spell that is cast by chanting the phrase repetitively.

In life, a spell is any thought, word, or phrase that is used to create some sort of impact. There are two types of spells: curses and charms. Typically (but not always), curses produce a negative (unpleasant) result, and charms produce a positive (pleasant) result.


intended to enhance or encourage a pattern.


intended to cause harm or stop a pattern.


Charms are almost always positive because they serve to enhance, highlight, affirm, encourage, or compliment. At the core, charms serve the purpose of enhancing or highlighting the inherent assets of something. They clean off the gunk and reveal the natural beautiful essence. As such, they are very watery, serving to clean and purify something so that its true nature can be fully appreciated. Think of a charm as a positive affirmation, words of encouragement, or specific compliment that washes away any negativity and leaves a person comfortable in expressing their brilliant authentic self.

For example, say you find a rock out in the mountains. But you don't know it is actually a precious gem. You just acknowledge it for the beauty that it is. That acknowledgement serves as a pressure washer, cleaning off the gunk and grime that dulls the brilliance of the precious gem. Enough charms will wash away all kinds of debris, leaving the beautiful raw essence underneath. This is how charms work. They help people to express the raw essence.

Everyday Charms

These everyday charms are more powerful use of word than we actually realize. If we offer them mindfully, they become even more potent in producing positive and pleasant experiences for both the charmer and the charmed. The beauty of charms is that when you give them away, they behave like boomerangs that only multiply their potency back to you. When you *charm* someone mindfully and intentionally, the karmic energy of your gift will multiply back to you.


"you're on the right track" "I like where you're going with that" "keep up the good work" "you're making such great progress" the teacher (in a place of authority) is putting the recipient of the charm in the driver's seat and encouraging them to find their own path. This is not only encouraging, but empowering. It makes the person feel strong and inspired at the same time.


Anytime someone authentically thanks you for something you have done, they are not just thanking you for the service, but they are saying "I appreciate you" and "you matter to me" and "you are important." Authentic gratitude makes someone feel important, needed, valued, and respected.


Telling something the value of their worth, affirming their contribution is a way of enhancing one's self-worth as well as value in community.

*Be careful. Charms spoken in rote or automaton can come off as trite or insincere and then backfire. We need to MEAN IT when we SPEAK IT for the energy to have the right power.

**A note to empaths. Narcissists are famous for their skillful use of charms, and their charms work really well. The way you can spot a narcissist is that after "the honeymoon stage" their charms are followed up with insidious curses that are highly dangerous. If you are in relationship with a narcissist, they will keep you attached to them through their skillful use of charms. It is impossible to fully avoid narcissistic personality types, so it is that much more important that empaths learn and practice skills in counter-cursing.


Curses are almost always negative because they serve to diminish, demean, undervalue, and intend to kill an energy. At the core, curses serve the purpose shocking the system. Throwing a wrench in a pattern and making it come to a halt to CHANGE. While CHARMS work like WATER to cleanse, CURSES work like FIRE to BURN. When something is burned, it is changed in a way that most likely cannot be repaired. In essence, curses are all forms of verbal abuse.


This is probably the most common form of cursing, and the most unconscious. Anytime someone speaks to us as a means of making us small or less than it is a curse meant to diminish our power.

Name Calling

What's in a name? An identity. A name (given name or a nickname or a pet name) is the seed sound, the core vibration of our being. As infants, our parents coo our names (and pet names for us) in loving tones over and over as affirmation of our core identity. A name is chosen carefully as representation of that soul. When someone calls us by a name that doesn't match our energy, or worse, completely counters our identity, it strips us of our core power, or seed sacred vibration.


Accusing or blaming someone of doing something that is completely against their character serves to diminish their character. It takes away their power because it insults their intentions and actions. It makes them want to stop contributing in any form because their actions are not well received.

Other Curses & Forms of Abuse

There are many more forms of curses (discounting, arguing, trivializing, sarcasm, mocking, etc.) You get the idea. Anytime we say or do something to STOP someone else from honestly and authentically expressing themselves, we are cursing them.

The Ultimate Curse

In every language, there is a simple phrase that serves as the ultimate curse. In English it is F*ck You. (For a deeper example of this, read the first chapters of my memoir The Gift Inside the Wound, in which my ex-husband curses me with F-You repeatedly, and I spent the rest of the book describing how I work to counter his curse.)

*Sometimes, and we never quite know when, a curse can backfire (pun intended). What happens is that the recipient uses the energy of the curse as an ignition of their own passion.

Unconscious Spell Casting - The Antidote is Mindfulness

When we are unconscious of the power of our words, we can easily cast spells without realizing the power of the words we are throwing into the air. Sadly, too often those unconscious cursed words then reverberate back to us. On the flip side, unconscious charms only work at half-power (or less) and we are diminishing our abilities.

The antidote is to be mindful and cautious and careful of your use of language. Everything you think and say will eventually come back to you. What you say to others becomes the vibrations that bounce around inside your own head. If you can control those vibrations to be charms instead of curses, you are bound to have a much more pleasant experience of life.


Do you need to be more mindful of your words? Want to change your curses into charms? Book an Appointment for mentoring to counter your curses and enhance your charms.

The absolute BEST way to gain control of your thoughts and words is to BREATHE. Take our Focused Breathing Online Course to start your process of learning to control your thoughts and words.


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