I've come to believe that an adult temper tantrum is an impromptu healing ritual. In my experience, every single time I had a massive temper tantrum, I felt better afterwards. While yes, they were hell in the process, and the emerging out of them was difficult, a when it was all said and done, I ALWAYS felt better after.
When we get so much fire and anger and rage built up inside us, it needs to come out somehow, or it will burn us out from the inside. The classic story of the woman scorned who throws all her husband's belongings out the window after she's discovered he's cheated on her is a classic example. In this stereotypical scenario, she takes her rage out on his items rather than on him directly. She has likely been swallowing her anger and explaining away her frustrations by offering excuses for him for far too long. Eventually, she just explodes. Tossing a bunch of inanimate items out a window is far healthier than other options.
Unfortunately, our society doesn't look kindly on these kinds of outbursts.
But, if we are MINDFUL in creating a sacred ritual space to allow these fire energies to emerge safely, we can get the same happy results, and not feel so icky in the process...all while not burning or biting anyone. The following shaman healing rituals create a healing space for an emotional release that tempers the tantrums. I have participated in these rituals both as a recipient and a facilitator.
Deep Water Ritual
Water is deeply cleansing and healing, and perhaps the best antidote for the excessive fire of temper tantrums. I have learned that honoring water mindfully through a deep ritual and/or a regular water spirits offering has tempered my tantrums to the point where I know if I go to the water when I feel the extra heat and pressure, all is released.
Those closest to us, who live in the same household, often suffer the worst of the wrath of temper tantrums. We all know what it's like, when Mom gets extra mad that we all scurry away like cockroaches when the lights go on. If you keep scurrying and never address the issue of the tantrums as a family, they can result in long-term trauma for everyone in the family. Mom needs a healthy way to communicate her gripes. The family needs a healthy way to express their fears and worries. A healing ritual circle based on Restorative Justice circle of Native American traditions can bring everyone in the family to better coping mechanisms for when tempers flair.
Deep Fire Ritual
Sometimes fighting fire with fire is exactly what we need. To honor the fire within us, to respect it, and to alchemically transform it from a raging ferocity to a manageable catalyst. Deep fire ritual can burn away the worst of the pains and leave you with a clean fresh feeling of being ready for new growth.